AAAHHHAAA! God's Got Me!

Paula Bernette Brooks

     Love and Light to All!  I had a SERIOUS Aaahhhaaa moment recently when I was fired from my job!  The scene in HR seemed surreal to me as I listened to the HR Manager tell me that she had no choice but to terminate me.  I had been taking classes toward my teacher certification, but my last waiver to teach without it had been denied.  I felt numb and glanced over at my supervisor.  In his spare time he's a happy go lucky biker, but his eyes were now bloodshot and bright with tears.  He assured me that he would give me a good reference and stated how sorry he was to lose me.

    Strangely,  I felt a curious mixture of anxiety and relief.  It seemed as though a great weight had lifted and  a sense of peace and relief washed over me.  Of course I had fleeting thoughts of my mortgage payment and other bills, as Ms. HR continued what sounded to me like "blah, blah blah".  But the overwhelming emotion was "light-heartedness," as the sun managed to break through the room's heavy draperies like a bright omen of things to come.
    
     Walking back to my classroom to pack up the many books and belongings accumulated over my 5 year tenure, I was greeted by students with hugs and loving cries of "Hi Ms. Brooks"!  I felt the first pangs of sadness, knowing that I would really miss them.  Several said they were coming to see me Monday, and I couldn't bear to tell them I wouldn't be there.  Hurriedly, I said my goodbyes to my former co-workers, as they helped me pack.   I tried to stay "mindful" and in the moment, as I took my last drive down that winding country road toward home.  The autumn day was unseasonably warm and absolutely magnificent.  Sunlight gleamed through the dense foliage, illuminating the spectacular red and gold leaves of the trees overhanging the road.

      My Aaahhhaaa moment began as I sat quietly in my living room and realized that "God's got me"! I reflected on how far He/She had brought me during my almost 15 years clean. I knew that the ending of my "Divine Assignment" at Job Corps had ended in God's time-not mine.  I thought back to the end of my active addiction, when I contemplated suicide, overwhelmed by feelings of desolation and despair. I had cried out with that simple, yet most powerful of prayers-"GOD HELP ME"!  Indeed, since that moment, I have been continually blessed beyond my greatest expectations.  My life is truly a study in Grace and Mercy.

    I fast forwarded back to my present situation.  After falling and injuring myself at work in May, I returned to the job 5 months later, only to find out nothing had changed.  Back for little over a month, I felt like I was treading water again.  I seemed to be drowning in an ocean of too many tasks, and not enough time to complete them.  I had no time to nurture myself with exercise and healthy food preparation. The week-ends flashed by in a blur, and then it was time to start the breakneck cycle all over again.  I had no time to BREATHE.   I  longed for, and envisioned a life where I "worked to live, instead of living to work". The Universe responded by doing for me, what I was too afraid to do for myself.

Pauline Brooks, boutique owner

 

    Reflecting on my recent unemployment, a Wave of Gratitude engulfed me!  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that angels walk with me daily.  Instead of being fearful, I must embrace this new stage of transition and the infinite possibilities that lie ahead.  I had told myself that I wanted to write. Out of the blue, based on a friend's recommendation, a young lady brought me her book to edit.  Another sistah asked me to write an article on my mother, Pauline Brooks, for her magazine.  I will also be doing a presentation on  Pauline Brooks, retail pioneer, on February 4th at the Reggie Lewis Museum.

      I understand that my heart and mind must remain open to Spirit!  This is the only way my steps can be directed to create the life of my dreams.  I know that I am a loving and talented spiritual being, on temporary assignment here on Earth.  I deserve-as we all do-to have a job that appreciates and honors me for the gifts I bring to the table and also affords me the opportunity to be in service.  In short, a job that I love and look forward to going to every day. 

     Please stay tuned for my next post, which will be about my beloved "Butterflies Emerge" program.  I need to find a new home/sponsor for the group.  I started it to help young women fall passionately in love with themselves, and make positive lifestyle choices.  I now know that working with young women and helping raise their quality of life is my life's purpose.  In so doing, the lives of their children and families will be positively impacted as well.  I look forward to hearing any ideas, suggestions or assistance you can provide!

"Butterflies" on visit to NYC to see play "Langston in Harlem".

Play's cast included my "nephew", talented Baltimore native Jonathan Burke and Josh Tower as Langston.

I'd like to leave you with some encouraging words to consider from the November Science of Mind magazine. 

"And from such daily meditation, he (she) should venture forth into a life of action, with the will to do, the determination to be, and a joy in becoming!"  The Science of Mind, pg. 168

"Where there is a will, there is a wall.  Where there is willingness, there is a way." Michael Bernard Beckwith

"We must trust in the Invisible, for It is the sole cause of that which is visible...."

Namaste!